Be sure to check out “Disorder in Court” for more funny court stories. Bradshaw v. Unity Marine (S.D. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. On puppies: LAWYER: Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–. Kids say the darnedest (funniest) things. LAWYER: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? That question should be taken out and shot. Rozzette Cabrera, R.N. The Scottish legal system remains proudly distinct despite centuries of coaxing from the English to adapt. Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? – Anton Chekhov. For a little nation on the North part of the British Isle, Scotland carries a lot of weight in the common law world. Anyone can go on a vacation. He is based out of Belgium and can be reached at hi@shareably.net. 7. Posted in Lawyer Jokes. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?" 40 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At, The Best Joke Written About Every U.S. State, 50 Puns So Bad They're Actually Hilarious, 40 Facts From the 20th Century That Are Totally Bogus Today, 100 Awesome Facts About Literally Everything, America's 30 Most Fascinating Unsolved Mysteries. Curious and innocent, kids often ask and say some of the craziest things. Next, check out the 100 Awesome Facts About Literally Everything. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”. The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you plead?” “Not guilty” said the second defendant. Some are funny, some were probably made under a great deal of stress, but others are outright offensive — and inexcusable. How do we know this? Thanks to everybody for all of those funny Southwest FA remarks. 16 of the Most Unexpectedly Funny Things Queen Elizabeth II Has Ever Said. Other times, the people across the aisle say such mind-numbingly stupid things that there's no point in calling their words anything other than nonsense. 1 / 4. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? Next, don't miss the 50 Puns So Bad They're Actually Hilarious. Judge Sheehan noted that the news made him “happier than a tick on a fat dog because [the Court] is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a twelve-foot stepladder into a five-gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than … The live ones put up too much of a fight. lawyer funny fails quotes 15 of the Dumbest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court These lawyer quotes will make you laugh, and make you wonder how they passed the bar. Can we get this video to 5K LIKES?! LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? 1. LAWYER: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? First way to identify a murder victim: Are they dead currently? Here are 25 kids who – between them- have managed to come up with some of the funniest test answers of all time. Mar 6, 2018 - Explore Leslie Sanderson's board "Judge Judy Quotes..." on Pinterest. Can I get a new attorney? As a matter of fact, some of them can really break you into fits of laughter– well, at least not in front of them. Charles M. Sevilla works in a private law practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of time in court. LAWYER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Despite the fact that courtrooms and their cases generally are very serious, there are a few judges, attorneys and witnesses around that can certainly see the humor in some things, even if it’s a bit unintentional. So that you have a complete set, here are the dregs from the barrel that your better taste allowed you to overlook. Relive the last two decades of Republican mediocrity with the following collection of crazy quotes by renowned right-wing nutjobs. Fare thee well, VCRs, fax machines, and pagers. ... Danny Masterson Harassment Suit Must Go Through Scientology Mediation, Judge Rules. LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing? MR HANKS: Change of instructions, your Honour. LAWYER: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?